Who moved the finish line? ;-)

Diane here…

I keep starting to write/post/blog and then I press delete delete delete.  I’ve done this for 3 or 4 days now.  I don’t know what to say.

 What do I say in the waiting --- that in-between  time of now  ...  and not yet?   

What can I say while I'm waiting?  In 31ft?

It feels like I'm stuck in a holding pattern. You know, those times when  your tray table and seat back are in the upright position, and  you can see HOME out the window, but for whatever reason the pilot keeps circling the airport, and it feels like for----eh---ver.

Or those times when you think you see the finish line, only to discover it’s been moved!   You are stretching out to finish the race, only to discover you have yet another lap to go.   Augh.

It’s like I don’t know what to say in the in-between.

We’re ok.  We haven’t bonked each other over the head or anything.   I think Maxine has shrunk a few feet. But we’re ok.  I think our kids and grandkids are pretty amazing --- the way they are flexible, and hang-in-there, even when the wait feels toooo-long.

We’re waiting.  

Waiting for moving vans to arrive (taking longer than planned). Waiting for Derek and Abby to get keys to move into very cute home (that is a God story Abby gets to tell you!). Waiting for Keith to return from Kansas City where he has been with Nick for the past 10 days.     

Why is waiting so hard?  And why do holding patterns feel so LONG, and extra laps feel so EXHAUSTING?  The last 10 minutes can feel longer than the entire journey.  An extra quarter mile, can feel like 20.

So in the waiting….

We're learning how to be together.

And we're learning how to find time alone.

We’ve had good beach walks.

Kai is riding her two wheeler like a champ, doing laps around our RV Park with a confident smile.

Chester has learned that seagulls are almost as much fun to chase as squirrels.

Oh, and we went to see the Elephant Seals near San Simeon.  They have come to have their babies and then... make babies.

We've  have had some God-connections with different people.  He is so kind to put people in our path at just the right moment.

We are learning the lay of the land.

We’ve had moments of letting off some “steam”  ~~~ like one time when Jack started to scream because he was so frustrated.  Well, …we all just JOINED HIM.  “AUUUUUUU!!! “  He looked at us like we were nuts.  I think we were.

Kai and I had a breakfast date, (it had been a long time since she and I had had a Gigi-Kai day), at the Madonna Inn where everything is PINK PINK PINK.  I showed Kai where her Gigi used to go ballroom dancing with her Cal Poly friends, and of course she and I took a twirl or two.   And we drank hot chocolate with whipped cream and pink sugar sprinkles.  Kai said it was yummy and she whispered in my ear, “Gigi, you could totally get a job here.  They make hot chocolate as good as you.”  I laughed.

We’ve visited the library --- and Kai got her very first library card.  So EXCITING.

Abby and I shared lunch together ~~ sitting by the bay.  A glass of wine and fresh seafood. We talked about silly things like ...Chester getting a job with the barking seals.  And serious things like... relocating and starting over.

I am enjoying watching Jack grow taller, hearing him say new words, and figuring out how to jUmP!

I love getting to  know Derek more and more. A few days back I was telling him how I felt about someone  keeps moving our finish line!  He laughed, saying, "So, who's finishing? More to come!" Laughter and perspective, just 2 of the many things I love about my son-in-love.

I went to see Les Miserables by myself yesterday, and I cried.  Literally held onto my scarf like it was a warm blankie and sobbed.   After the movie, the entire theater broke into applause and then most of us just sat quietly, not moving.  Such a story of passion and redemption and love and forgiveness. 

…. And after the movie I parked under a street lamp along the bayside, and talked to a  long-distance dear friend on the phone for over an hour.  Processing the movie….and life.  A ranger passed by a couple of times, checking on me.  I sorta hoped he would stop so I could tell him how we’ve been traveling for 4 ½ months in 31 feet and how good it felt to have “girl time” and over an hour of uninterrupted adult conversation.   J

It won’t be long, and we will “land” & cross the “finish line”.

It has been such a grand journey --- and not one us wants to minimize how grand it has been.  It has been AHH-MAY-ZING. 

But ohmygoodness, we are totally smellin’ the barn and ready to get this baby landed, and feel the red tape across our chests.   ;-)

P.S. Abby just poked her head over my shoulder and said, “Are you gonna cry?…….. This is your last blog with ALLLLL of us in Maxine!”    Buahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,  (where is my scarf?)

 

I feel like a tree

Abby's thoughts.....

Here we are in central California, trying to settle into a new life.  Trying to make a new home.  Trying to FIND a home!  I don’t share this to complain, I just share it to be REAL.  This is where I am at today on this journey.  Some days of this journey are exciting and thrilling; other days are full of doubt; wondering where hope is and what bend it’s around.  

We are facing reality now.  Far from the place we used to call home, far from familiar, and I’m trying to remind myself that it’s all going to be okay.  We are still living in Maxine, and the Maxine grace-o-meter is getting low. Everyday we look on craiglist.com for rentals.  There are few to choose from and of the few, the rent is more than we paid for our mortgage!  It looks bleak.  And today I wonder again, did we make the right move?  YES, comes a soft whisper from heaven. And good reminder to hear when there are days you still wonder.  I suppose the storm looks bigger than it really is, and the rainbow after the storm is usually brighter than expected.  So I have to believe it will all be okay, but this is a road I must walk down.  A road I must travel today before I get to my destination. And i guess, it's not really a storm, it just feels like a big mountain right now.

Today I feel lost.  I feel like a tree uprooted.  A tree that was once strong and lush, developing roots in rich soil.  But now, this tree is vulnerable, raw, exposed.  I look right and left, north and south looking for the RIGHT place to plant.  I so desperately want to plant in healthy fertile soil, yet I realize, I’m only to be planted in a temporary pot for now.  This season of time here is about discovery.  Discovering new places, new landscape, new cultures, new life, new firsts. Nothing has to be permanent.  That’s why we are renting and not buying. Sounds exciting, right?  So why am I so concerned about the color of my new pot, or the location of my pot, for that matter? The hurdle for me is, it’s not like a job brought us here and picked where we are going to live for us.  We are the ones making the decision.  AND, it feels like a BIG decision.  Lots of decisions!  Where do we live? Go to school?  Get jobs? Church? Friends? Life?! Do we live in San Luis Obispo, a fun college town, or Paso Robles in the vineyards, or Pismo Beach on the coast?  All have great things about them, pros, cons, etc. I know it sounds silly, and you may wonder, why am I all worked up about it? But, I think.... what if I don’t like my new pot?  What if the tree isn’t planted in the RIGHT pot?  What if it’s not as good as my old solid ground? 

But really, when I step back to look at my life, has God ever NOT taken care of me?  Has He ever led me somewhere that didn’t have a purpose?  Has He ever NOT provided for me?  I meekly answer, no.  And really, the truth is, He’s always given me more than my expectations.  So why would He stop now?  Why would He take me on this journey, only to drop me off and leave me?  I know it’s all going to work out.  I know we will find a home.  I know that we will find happiness and a good life in this new land.  It’s just hard because it looks strange and I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like. I’m sure there’s a good pot to be planted in.  It doesn’t have to be perfect. And the cool thing is, I can move this pot anywhere until I know for certain what ground to plant it in permanently.  

So...those are my thought.  Just me being real.  This is my journey I am living right now. 

Thanks for listening.

The Christmas Journey Chapter

My last post was before Christmas, I had just finished making a manger scene with Kai ~~ and Kai told me that Mary had butterflies in her tummy because she was SO EXCITED to have a baby,  and Joseph was smiling and winking about this baby that was soon to be born.   And we had just hung eight stockings that Santa would soon fill. That is all Kai knows about Christmastime ~~ butterflies, smiles, joy-filled anticipation.  I would like to keep it that way forever.

This Christmas season we did NOT anticipate or expect a hospital stay with our son.  We did not anticipate illness or pain or tears or MRI’s or CT scans or EEG’s or EKG’s.  We didn’t.  We thought the Christmas-Journey-Chapter would be ALL butterflies and winks.

I wish for each of us…it was all butterflies and winks and smiles and sunshine.  Yet this Incredible Journey of Life can hold painful twists and turns that no one expects or anticipates, no matter the season.   And....I know we were not the only ones who had an unexpected and painful detour this Christmas season. I know ….because we have dear friends in the midst of a family crisis,  another facing serious health issues, another grieving the painful loss of a loved one,  another aching with monthly disappointment of unanswered prayers.   I know because there are families in Connecticut who ache with empty arms this Christmas. I know because while in the hospital with our son --- all the rooms were filled with other families, wishing they too were someplace else.  Instead of butterflies and winks and smiles,  many of us have felt,  labor, and pain and tears.

That is how life's journey on earth is sometimes.  And each one of has been  “there .”  We have.

But….

The story of CHRISTmas is… in the labor, in the tears, in the pain, in the darkness,  He comes.   God comes. To be with us.  To comfort us.  To heal us.  To BE with us.   And we are not alone.

And that is the Gift of Christmas.

 

 

Christmastime in Maxine

Merry Week-Before-Christmas from Avila Beach-

Today the sun is bright, and blue sky is even brighter, and there are diamonds dancing across the bay.  This feels and looks so much different than Christmas’s past ~~ familiar Christmas décor is still packed away in boxes in PA.  Instead of being busy with shopping , pet therapy visits, parties, baking , planning family gatherings ~~ we are looking for housing , looking into job opportunities, and anticipating another week+ of taking Maxine on to new sites, visiting family in southern and northern California.   J

 We have a tiny Christmas tree with homemade decorations perched on our dining room table, Kai has an art project on the wall, we have a few Christmas cards out, and twinkle lights here and there.   Plain and simple.  We told some new friends, (Keith and I met a couple, w/dog, at the doggie beach, they invited us for dinner on Sunday evening in their Pismo Beach home---{Yes, Peg, Melissa’s mom there not only is a Pismo Beach, but people  actually live there!!!}  What warm hospitality to invite strangers into your home! ) about our journey and how different this Christmas feels for us all. Lisa and Dick, our new Pismo Beach friends,  are gracious and wonderful people, & we so enjoyed our evening  with them  ~~ and as I was ooh-aahing over their Christmas Tree, telling them how odd it feels to have our Christmas things still in boxes .... Dick responded quickly, “Yes, but how many people can say they’ve just had the adventure of a lifetime traveling cross country with your family?”

As they say in PA, “True That!”

So though Christmas looks and feels so different, I am still learning that different  is OK.  More than OK .

A few of you have been asking…. So what’s next? AND, some of you have asked us not to stop writing……Because you want to hear the rest of the story J   We do too J We’ll keep writing and we’re thankful you’re still with us on this incredible journey.

As far as what is next….. As far as our plans ~~~ well, there are dreams in our hearts.  We are not sure what we will do, or where we will work, or where exactly we will live. I know, that is SO CRAZY.  Sometimes I think that too.  But I think CRAZY might be OK as well.

Abby and I were talking yesterday while the guys were out fishing. The hunter-gatherer guys (whooo-yah) were out getting food for the family.  We were talking about other journeys, other families, other stories.

Like…. The Pilgrims on the Mayflower ~~ they landed in Plymouth.  And, the first thing they did was gather toegether on dry ground and thank God for …., well, for everything.  And then… They still lived on the boat, searching for the best place to build, plant. They met friends, Squanto, Massasoit, who gave them wise counsel on how to begin in this strange and long awaited new land.  The journey across the Atlantic was one thing, beginning again was a whole ‘nother adventure.   Were the women so ready to nest?….the children so ready to run?….and the men so ready to build?

Like ....Noah and his crew.  I laughed out loud thinking about them.  I mean really.  40 days and 40 nights rocking and rolling with all those animals,  children and grandchildren, in the dark seas…  He had a Promise from God tucked in his heart, but not a clue what life ahead really looked like.  When he landed….he had a weee too much to drink.    He did.   I don’t know if he was celebrating or just plain exhausted or overwhelmed or all of the above. God bless that guy.  What a journey.

 

And then ….of course…. I thought  of Joseph and Mary, who was GREAT with Child. Nine months pregnant, donkey transportation, no reservations, dust, dirt. Did Mary long to be in a place she called “home”on this first CHRISTmas day? Perhaps ~~ But, I think that perhaps  the Promise-Giver and the Promise-Given made the journey and the stable worth it all. True that.

The Reason for the season!

 

Woo Hoo for Christmas in California!

 P.S.
When Kai and I made a manger scene this morning....she was coloring Mary. As she made swirls on Mary's tummy she said, "These are butterflies in her tummy, she is so excited!" Then when she colored Joseph, she put a smile on his face and said "He's winking ;-) " And Gigi treasured these things in her heart.

 

 

The Sand Dollar

I'd like to share a story with you....

about a Sand Dollar.

Whenever I find a sand dollar, it is sort of like seeing a rainbow. 

It is like an oh wow and a dazzling moment all rolled into one.

Today we are camped on a bluff overlooking Avila Beach, 5 or so miles south of the city of San Luis Obispo.  We can hear the gentle waves, seals barking (yes really), watch pelicans dive for their dinner, walk to the sand and sea, and enjoy the beauty of the ocean from our front door. And there is a DOG BEACH.  Chester and Bailey think they have died and gone to heaven.  Seriously.

We moved from magnificent Morro Bay to Avila Beach yesterday.... Maxine crossed "the travel line!" into San Luis Obispo, and now we are camped in this small harbor just south of SLO.  One year ago, the six of us sat in a small cafe here, and  just dreamed of this journey. And talked.  And dreamed some more.

While here, we found pieces of sand dollars. Six pieces to be exact. None of them fit together.  They were just pieces. As we talked and prayed about our journey west (which was just a dream at the time & seemed so complicated to put together), I sensed the Lord saying ---- I will put the pieces together, no worries. Just give me the pieces. 

And now, one year and 2 months later (with an incredible-journey in our hearts), we are perched on a bluff overlooking Avila Beach.  It is so beautiful.  And......as we've been here for a few days, we've been talking/praying/wondering about "how" all the pieces will now fit together. And it is here, Avila Beach, we are parking for now, while we figure out the pieces of life here in the San Luis Obispo area ~~ a place we are now calling "home".  As the puzzle pieces are out there, I don't like to admit this but...... I tend to be the doubting Thomas in the group.  I do.  It's the truth.  Augh.

 I'm the one who whispers in Keith's ear at 2:00 in the morning,

 "Sweetie, are you awake?" 

"Uh-huh.....now I am"

"Do you think everything is going to be OK?"

I can see him roll his eyes in the dark.

"Why are you rolling your eyes and smiling?"

"Because you never disappoint me ... ...  Yes, it will be OK.  More than OK."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Back to the Sand Dollar.  God is SO KIND with me. SO KIND.

Today, Kai and I took a walk up the road from our campsite.  As we were walking, we met the camp host, Bruce.  We introduced ourselves, and told him about our journey from sea to shining sea.   He was so friendly, and so interested in our story... and he told us a bit of his story as well.

After visiting, we walked a bit further.  Kai picked a white daisy with a purple center to give to her Mommy, then we turned around to walk back to Maxine. We walked past Bruce's home.  Then we heard a voice call, "Kai!"  We turned around and it was Bruce.  "I have a something to give you, Kai."  He asked her to close her eyes and hold out her hands.  She was shy to do so. Bruce told her he would give her the gift regardless.

Then, in her hands he placed a beautiful Sand Dollar.

NO WAY.  I wanted to shout HOLY SAND DOLLAR!!!

I looked at Kai, she looked at me....and our eyes were wide.  "THANK YOU!" we said. 

Bruce told us that Sand Dollars are a rare find on Avila Beach, but he wanted us to have this one.

It was a gift. 

Just placed in our hands.

Here, I have something to give you....

I kid you not, as we walked down the hill to our little home, the birds were singing.

Kai looked up, and she said, "Thank you for singing to me!"

And I had no words........

I  held a Sand Dollar in one hand........and Kai's tiny hand in the other.

I think it's all gonna be OK.  I do.

Road Narrows

Good Morning.  It's Aloha Friday. We are in Morro Bay, California, it's a beautiful sunny day, 13 short miles from San Luis Obispo.  I have butterflies.  I do.

Yesterday we traveled the most gorgeous (I should say one of the most gorgeous…since we have traveled a lot of gorgeous)  winding stretches of highways ~~  this bit of highway is famous for beauty, it is … HWY 1 between Big Sur and Morro Bay. One side of the road is MOUNTAIN & REDWOODS, straight up to the sky, the other side of the road is STEEP CLIFFS, straight down to the sea.  The road is so narrow and twisty and beautiful --- it is like with every curve , you take a deep breath in, and say “ohmygosh, look at that view.”  And then you say, “yikes” because that cliff is so darn close. And steep-down.  With no guard rails sometimes.

Derek drove Maxine along this stretch of beauty,  and at one point he just started laughing out loud...  He saw a sign that read,  ROAD NARROWS.  He said, “Road narrows?  You gotta be kidding me.”  The road was already so narrow, Maxine had been hanging  her sides and hiney over the edge on every bend.  Anyways, as Derek was taking the curves like a champ, and staying between the mustard and mayo, (that's what we call those colored lines on the HWY's),  the adults were enjoying the breath-taking views,  kids and dogs were snoozin', and I was remembering  another trek down HWY 1, about 42 years ago (that sounds like a long time ago, geez).

Keith and I were just young whipper-snappers (that is a totally crazy expression, where did that come from?), and we,  & 4 others (my brother and his sweet wife included), did a 14 day camping bike trip, as in bicycle, trekking from San Franciso to Santa Barbara, via the coast. Who woulda ever dreamed, way back then, that I'd marry my bike-buddy, let alone be riding in a motorhome named Maxine,  with our kiddos & grandkids and dogs, towing a turquoise VW-Van along this same stretch of HWY.  .............I mean, seriously. 

(I think God smiled BIG 42 years ago.....and He is still smilin'.  Hang onto your hat, you just never know what surprises are around the next bend.) 

A trip down memory lane....our first home in Mount Hermon, California, tucked under the Redwood Trees

Big Sur..... Daddy and daughter



Morning in the Redwoods, camped at Big Sur

Snuggling on the beach at Big Sur

Highway 1, in the distance, Cambria, Morro Bay, then...San Luis Obispo
(Where in the world is the BIKE LANE? Still wonderin' after 42 yrs....)

PS..... This morning's post is not getting posted til now...tonight.  AND.....Ta-Daaaa....Today...
We crossed over "the line" into San Luis Obispo.  You might have heard us yell  YEEE HAH.  We tootled around a bit, and had lunch at the Creeky Tiki on Higuera Street, where we had lunch a year ago.   BUT,  I don't think it's really official yet,  that we are REALLY in SLO, because Maxine stayed camped in Morro Bay, & she has not crossed the finish line yet.   Just sayin'. ;-)

At the Creeky Tiki for lunch....Kai is in Yeee-Haw mode

Why Not!

It feels surreal to be on the West Coast.  After 7000+ miles, I can’t believe we did it!  We made it!  We just saw our first mileage sign to San Luis Obispo.  143 miles. It gives me butterflies in my stomach to think we are almost ‘home’.  Wow.  Home. What a thought. 

Ya know, it all started with a thought.  An idea.  A dream.  And we took it seriously.  Weird to think back...  Some people ask why? And I guess we simply said,  ‘why not?’  WHY NOT move our family from the east coast to the west coast.  Why not go from the city to the beach?  Why not try out sunny, warm winters over the wet and cold.  Why not try something different?  Why not follow a dream?  Some people dream and then wait for the lightning bolt from heaven or the writing on the wall or for EVERYTHING to line up P.E.R.F.E.C.T.L.Y. before they do something about it.  But sometimes you just gotta GO.FOR.IT. (thank you Auntie Jayne-o)  regardless of the rain or the tide or the moon or the whatever! Usually there are more reasons not to than there are to.  But why not go?  What do you have to lose?  Just try. Isn’t DESIRE enough of a reason to go? Isn’t the dream itself big enough of a reason? Whatever the dream is, IT IS worth it.  Here we are – crazy kids – 2 seniors, 2 adults, 2 kids & 2 dogs, 31 feet in a motor-home, almost 8000 miles, 3 months, coast to coast.  

-- Let me just say, it was worth it all, AND I would do it all. over. again. --

We haven’t made it to the destination yet, but my goodness, the journey has been worth the ride!  And I would venture to say the destination will be worth it as well.  Great moments. Lasting memories. Amazing experiences.  So many treasures along the way.  At the beginning it felt like a long journey, now it feels like a life LIVED.  Not that our life before wasn’t fulfilling.  It was.  It was happy, safe, and comfortable. But sometimes there’s something inside of you that whispers, “there’s something more”.  And if we chose not to go, life would have been fine.  Good. Happy. Secure.  But we would have always wondered…..WHAT IF?

Even when you make a decision to follow your dream, it’s not smooth sailing all the time.  Let. Me. Tell. You. =)  Even in the beginning, even before we left, I thought,  ‘what the heck are we doing?!’ But I knew that the dream to go would be worth it. Sure we’ve had our times – flat tires, rainy days, stinky toots, melt-downs, plumbing mishaps, grumpiness.  But we’ve also had rainbows, starry skies, snuggle-mugs of coffee, date nights, sandy beaches, tube-rides, majestic views, (did I mention) lobster rolls =).  

To be a FULL time traveling mom has probably been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  You’d think I’d have time to read magazines while one the road, pin on Pintrest, watch movies, exercise, go on leisurely strolls.  To tell you the truth, it was about 2 1/2months into it before I opened my first mag and watched a movie!  But the other day Kai said, “It was nice to have a Mommy & Daddy day.  It was like a Sunday”.  Even though we are with each other 24/7, living together  is different than spending  time together. We still have had to be purposeful to carve out time to spend with each other. Watching our kids grow and change everyday together has been special. And the moments carved out have been a priceless experiance. I can’t help but know that this time will be forever engraved on the hearts of my children, whether they remember the journey or not, their hearts will know. 

As we flipped over the calendar to December, (I still can’t believe it’s December!) we read words ‘THE JOURNEY IS THE REWARD’. How timely! Has the journey been good?  YES!  Has it been worth it?  Yes. Every moment of it has been worth it ALL.  Will the destination be as good?  I’m sure it will be.  Oh, Yes. Yes, it will!

So……..Why not? Why not follow a WHAT IF?