Coming Full Circle

Chester's new job.......  And we get to join him.

A few years ago.......as in about 38 yrs ago, (oh my is that really true???),   I was a young (as in VERY young) college student at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.  My just graduated-from-college-husband was a Seasonal Park Ranger at Morro Bay State Park (12 miles from San Luis Obispo).  We had our lives all figured out, and we had this plan that Keith would get hired full time with the Parks & we just knew we would live in the California State Parks forever. But, life took a different path. At the time we were disappointed.  But now, looking back --- ohmy, what an incredible adventure it has been, from the mountains....to the prairies.....to the oceans....white with foam.   (with still more to come!)

And now, here we are, back in the land where we began.  

Well, as Derek and Abby have been settling into their home in wine-country-Paso-Robles-with-the-velvet-green-springtime-hills ---  Keith, Chester, and I have been  living in our beloved Maxine, park- hopping around the central coast, praying, pondering, dreaming, about where to live and what is next for us.  Lots of questions, not so many answers.

And....If you have been reading our JourneyTails, you are fully aware of the fact that I like to know details, and waiting 'n wondering is not so much my strong suit. And sometimes I can get a weee bit stressed and crazy  that I do not have all the answers and pieces to the puzzle neatly in place for the next few chapters AT LEAST.   

 

Long story shorter, as we've been hopping around between here and there, we noticed these Camphost people in each campground....and we thought.  Hmm.  That looks like fun for a season of time. We could do that during this season of in-between.  Campground Hosting~~we would have a beautiful place to park & call home for several months or more  in one of the Parks in the San Luis Obispo area~~ plus get to meet and greet people from all over the world (Chester's expertise) and volunteer 20 hours a week doing park-work, in exchange for a place to park Maxine & call home.

Great idea.  We thought.

But, after talking with parks-people, we heard that the pile of applications was a mile high and wide and deep & it wasn't too often that these sought-after positions became available.     (wah-wah)

Well, you cannot let the WAH-WAH deter you.  So, we applied at 3 different Parks.  One State Park, and two County Parks. All 3 beautiful.  And all 3 had springtime openings (imagine that).  In fact one of the parks that we really liked.... while camped there, we thought,  hmmm, well wouldn't THIS be the perfect spot ;-).  But, no openings.  However, when we were leaving, there was a sign on the ranger kiosk window..."CAMPHOST WANTED".   (imagine that)

As I said, we picked 3 different Parks.....we interviewed.....and we were hired at more than one ;-)    We liked all the spots... We got to choose.  And we picked this one.    The one we found last and liked best.  The one that had no openings...then it did.  It is called El Chorro. Translated, means ~~ something like a gushing stream.  I like that.  

El Chorro is just off of Hwy 1, sitting 1/2 way between San Luis Obispo and Morro Bay. Lots of  year round sunshine. And green green grass this time of year. A creek.  Trails to hike. Central to the beaches, places, 'n people we love.  (Chester is beyond hopeful that there are squirrels to chase)

It's workin' out.........  It is.  IT IS.  (Keith was so right)

You can stop reading here if you want.  BUT, I'm gonna keep writing.  There are a few things I don't want to forget, so I need to write them down. For me.  Things I want to remember about my journey when I've been overwhelmed with questions/doubt in the midst of "not yet" , when my faith has been fuzzy.  

Ya know, I remember when we were traveling cross country, and we were in Arizona, I was sort of in a melt-down cRaZy moment saying to Keith,  "WHAT in the world are we doing?  WHERE will we live?  HOW will it all work out in California?"   aughhhhhhhhhhhh

Keith would listen (averypatientman) ....remind me to enjoy Arizona (or wherever we were) .... and.... assure me that WHEN we got to California (not before), we would know the answers to the questions.  God would certainly take care of all the details & his kids.  More than we could imagine.   Really I would ask???  REALLY, he would say.

And there was the time a few weeks ago.  After Derek and Abby got moved into their home,  and I was longing with a capial L for a home of our own (other than Maxine....shhhh do not tell her I said that), or at least a SPOT to call home for more than two weeks at a time.  I was having a meltdown moment at Morro Bay.  I was. I emailed a friend of mine who understood our journey well --- A number of years ago she and her family sold their Southern California home, loaded into a motorhome with kids and dogs, to travel cross country, explore the land, and reconnect as a family.  A year later, with a boatload of memories, they landed in a new state to call home. She understood my ups and downs.  She wrote me back, with a huge heart of encouragement, reminding me I would live,  one day have a home....my stuff.......and one day, one day,  .... I would miss the simplicity of this season of life.   I knew she was right. I did.  And I knew she understood. And my heart opened to new possibilities and new contentment in the "not yet"....   (This friend of mine---talk about the circle of life --- we met right here in San Luis Obispo...she and I were college roommates.  Though we now live thousands of miles apart, God continues to weave our roommate-hearts together, as only He can do. Thanks, Jo...)

And then.......there was another day.  We were still in the "not yet".  I was walking on the beach.  It was a foggy day.  I could not see more than a few yards ahead of me. To see further...I needed to take a few more steps.  And then a few more. With each step, I could see one step further. I totally whined to God....  This is how I feel right now., I can only see "this far".... and don't You know I really like to see the whole enchilada???   I think He said "I know....the WHOLE enchilada ,plus a taco or two..." and smiled.

And then I read this a bit later in Jesus Calling, "I will show you the next step forward and the one after that, and the one after that.  Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go."  

Look at all those reminders.....look at all the ways HE speaks.  And this isn't even the whole enchilada....just a few bites.  Look how He tells me the same thing in different ways.  Just so I will hear, HEAR.    Like a good Daddy.

You know, in the not yet.... In the waiting. "It" feels HUGE.  Looking back. It doesn't seem as HUGE. But in the moment, HUGE!   And looking back, I can see so clearly how God is so very kind and personal with me.  To speak to me through my husband, or a friend, or His creation, or His Word, or a book, or my children & grandkiddos, or my dog, or a movie....   He is so persistent and patient and personal.....to keep whispering to His girl along the journey.  And I'm way glad He does not throw His hands in the air and say "for heaven's sake WHEN are you gonna get this????????"    Rather, He throws His arms around me and says,"I'll remind you again.....and again.....and then one more again, it's okay."

If only, in the 'not yets' I could remember what I am learning. (partly why I wrote this down --- how quickly I forget)

His Presence and His personal touches are so, so...........so dazzling. So tender. And make me wanna dance and cry all at the same time. It's like a gushing stream, more than I can take in............  HEY, A GUSHING STREAM.  hello ;-)

 

 

                                                        
                                              

Chester Pawnderings

February 1st, 2013

 

Avila Beach, California
 

Perched on a hill,  on top of my favorite picnic table, overlooking the bay,
 and my favorite doggie beach.

 

Woke up to sunshine coming in my window, birds singing, seals barking,
 the sound of the sea.

 

Warmth.

 

ohmygoodness.i.absolutelyloveit

 

 

Sometimes it's good just to close your eyes and

feel the morning sunshine on your furry head. 

Take time to be still. 

Dream of chasing pelicans and seagulls and rolling in the warm sand.

 

And then spend some time watching the seals and dolphins and boats in the bay,

and the crazy pelicans dive bomb for breakfast.

And Thank God Above.

 

 

 

And then share it with your best friend. 

 

 



Friends help with constipation.....

Friends help with Constipation. They really do.....

Abby has challenged me to be more creative with my blog titles....capturing attention.   So I am trying.

So, you might ask, what do friends and constipation have in common?

Well....let me try to explain.

For the past few days, more than that actually,  months to be exact, I've been especially missin' my girl-friends.  When I move, the absolute hardest part, without a doubt, is saying g'bye to a friend(s).  As Anne of Green Gables puts it so well........a kindred spirit.  sigh.  It cause me to cry buckets.

Each place we've been blessed to live, God has given me the absolute best ~~ a girl-friend kindred-spirit. Sometimes more than one.  They are a treasure to behold and never to be taken for granted.

They are the kind of friend you eventually have history with.  You don't have to explain background or why or who.    The kind of friend who knows how to listen well, with compassion, and doesn't try to fix. The kind of friend who will share a 3 hour coffee, or a long glass of wine, or walk with you until you are all talked out, cried out, or "done".  The kind of friend you can laugh with until you pee your pants. The kind of friend who doesn't drop her jaw when  you tell her how you are REALLY doing. The kind of friend who helps to lighten your load and deepen your joy. She is a true treasure indeed.  Irreplaceable.  ....And so hard to hug g'bye. Because you know, she will never ever be replaced.   This kind of a "friend" is one of a kind in your heart.

I am so much a verbal processor. And when I walk through LIFE and face STUFF, I long to talk and process and put feelings into words with a friend....it helps....so much.  This is HOW I figure out what is really going on inside of me. This is how life flows more freely for me...  It is. (I must make an addendum here, Keith is the best non-girlfriend-friend a wife could ask for, BUT he will be the first to admit that he is NOT a girl.) 

Well, today, as I was all backed-up and confused in my feelings and trying to explain to Keith what was going on.......I thought about how hard it is to get things OUT, when they have been inside  ... emotionally speaking  .... for quite some time.  And there are obviously a few layers of feelings to process through.  Sometimes, it's hard to figure out how to get the layers and piles of emotionally-backed-up-stuff out.  Do you know what I mean?  I walk around with this pained look on my face because I am all jammed up.............  needing a friend.

Are you getting it?  The title?

And so ....here's to my girl-friends.  My kindred spirit girl-friends.  From sea to shining sea, you are a rainbow of precious gems in my heart.  I love you.  Deeply.  And I miss you.  Like crazy.  I do.  And I thank each one of you with all my heart, for being you.    For being a true reflection of God's kindness and compassion and listening ear --- with skin on. 

And I'm just sayin', I'm getting a little backed-up without you. 

P.S.
Thank you.
For those of you that have been asking about our WAITING, and WAITING with us. Thank you.
The very fact that you are WITH with us, brings such encouragement, let me tell you....
To update you.............
*Keith returned from Kansas City safe and sound. Nick is settled into his home & routine, he is feeling well and strong and back to "his" normal. 
*Our furniture and things arrived from PA --- Kai prayed that whoever moved our things would do it with lots of TLC.  Her prayers were answered in such a HUGE way.  Scott and Jeremy (father and son) with United Moving were the best of the best (LOTS of TLC).  And Rudy and Gabriel in Paso Robles, who helped unload ---- well, they were equally amazing.  TLC to da max.
*And ~~ Derek and Abby and Kai and Jack and Bailey are all tucked into their home.  Home.  HOME. 
*Keith and I are settling into Maxine and spreading out a bit (Maxine miraculously grew). We are hanging out in Morro Bay for now, and taking a bit of time to regroup & refresh ....before turning the page.
*Thank you for traveling with us --- your company gives us TLC on this journey.  Thank you !

Tulips in January

So…… yeah, it feels like the finish line has moved a few times.  (Mom put it so well in the latest blog)  But can I just SHOUT it from the mountain tops?!.....I see the finish line! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!!  First of all…..Thank you everyone for your support and encouraging words since my last blog entry.  You have no idea how much your love, prayers, and uplifting words blessed my heart and gave me hope.  You have hugged me across the miles with your support.  

The other day we went to Trader Joe’s for some groceries.  Love that store!  Well, we walked in and right there in the center of the store was a huge display of fresh cut flowers.  I LOVE fresh cut flowers!  But my favorite flower in all the earth doesn’t come around until spring time.  I don’t know if spring flowers are more dazzling than summer one’s because they are the first to come out after a long winter or if they truly are the most beautiful.  Walking towards the flowers, Kai tugs at my arm gasping, ‘Mommy, look at ALL the flowers! Oh, we have to get Gigi some flowers!’  Her enthusiasm totally makes the sunshine brighter.  And she pulled out a bunch of yellow tulips.  Tulips are my FAVORITE!  God gave me tulips in January.  TULIPS in JANUARY!!!  Helloooooo!  And it was that day, the rest of spring started to show up…….that was just a little over a week ago.

This morning I woke up like it was the first day of school.  Earlier than usual, and feeling not as tired as I should, because….today is the day we get the keys to our new home!  And sooooooo……drum roll please……..the VINEYARDS have it!  Ding ding ding!  The rolling hills and vineyards will be our next resting place in central California.  Of all the dozens of houses we drove by, inquired about, and the few we looked at, 2 homes caught our eyes and both of them wanted our family to live in them!  It was a miracle by far….Paso Robles, in the northern part of San Luis Obispo County was a place we hadn’t considered until now.  But when we looked at homes here it seemed that all arrows were pointing this direction.  Looking back I am baffled.  We seriously drove by SO many houses that we saw were for rent in Paso.  Of those 2 dozen or so, we got into 3. And of those 3, 2 we LOVED and could see ourselves totally living in.  Knowing the difficult process we had to go through to even be considered, I have to say I wasn’t very optimistic!  I mean really, no jobs and a dog are pretty good strikes against ya when you’re looking to rent. And it seems in these parts, its first come first serve.  So if you aren’t the first qualified person to look at something, it’s pretty much gone by the time you inquire about it….AUGH! But as God would have it, He not only provided one house for us, but actually gave us two to choose from.  They both wanted us!!! 

So this little house in the vineyards is a 2-story 3 bedroom, 2 ½ bathroom in a nice neighborhood.  Everything is clean and fresh and recently renovated.  It’s located central to shopping, the highway, town down fun….AND wineries! It has a great river walk around the community and a playground taboot!  I feel like it’s more than I knew I needed.  It has lots of running space for the kids, a huge back yard for Bailey, a master bedroom with a walk in closet that is bigger than the bathroom in our PA home!  I feel totally spoiled!  Isn’t it just like God to give us more than enough, and a little extra, just because!  So this will be our home for the next few months or year or so as we explore and discover our new area.  This is my temporary ‘pot’…..it’s a nice pot!  

Looking into 2013, I feel that this year for us is about exploring, discovering and having lots of fun doing it!  There are so many places in the area I’m looking forward to discovering.  And to start with, Paso Robles is home to over 300 vineyards and wineries!  Its home to California’s mid-state fair.  The beach is a half hour away. And…there are avocado farms 15 minutes from here – YUM!!!!  Farmers markets and community events….and so much more to learn about.  I don’t have to get hung up on having everything perfect or planting roots now.  It’s just a season of fun and freedom to explore! I’m excited!  WE are excited! 

Derek & I watched The Hobbit the other night and what Gandalf told Bilbo before they left for their adventure was so right on. He said, “I can’t promise you’ll return. But if you do come back, I guarantee you won’t ever be the same.” We can totally relate!

It’s been an amazing journey!  Thank you God for dreams come true, adventures and tulips in January. 

   Here’s to the next season and to filling the next pages of our story with NEW adventures.

Who moved the finish line? ;-)

Diane here…

I keep starting to write/post/blog and then I press delete delete delete.  I’ve done this for 3 or 4 days now.  I don’t know what to say.

 What do I say in the waiting --- that in-between  time of now  ...  and not yet?   

What can I say while I'm waiting?  In 31ft?

It feels like I'm stuck in a holding pattern. You know, those times when  your tray table and seat back are in the upright position, and  you can see HOME out the window, but for whatever reason the pilot keeps circling the airport, and it feels like for----eh---ver.

Or those times when you think you see the finish line, only to discover it’s been moved!   You are stretching out to finish the race, only to discover you have yet another lap to go.   Augh.

It’s like I don’t know what to say in the in-between.

We’re ok.  We haven’t bonked each other over the head or anything.   I think Maxine has shrunk a few feet. But we’re ok.  I think our kids and grandkids are pretty amazing --- the way they are flexible, and hang-in-there, even when the wait feels toooo-long.

We’re waiting.  

Waiting for moving vans to arrive (taking longer than planned). Waiting for Derek and Abby to get keys to move into very cute home (that is a God story Abby gets to tell you!). Waiting for Keith to return from Kansas City where he has been with Nick for the past 10 days.     

Why is waiting so hard?  And why do holding patterns feel so LONG, and extra laps feel so EXHAUSTING?  The last 10 minutes can feel longer than the entire journey.  An extra quarter mile, can feel like 20.

So in the waiting….

We're learning how to be together.

And we're learning how to find time alone.

We’ve had good beach walks.

Kai is riding her two wheeler like a champ, doing laps around our RV Park with a confident smile.

Chester has learned that seagulls are almost as much fun to chase as squirrels.

Oh, and we went to see the Elephant Seals near San Simeon.  They have come to have their babies and then... make babies.

We've  have had some God-connections with different people.  He is so kind to put people in our path at just the right moment.

We are learning the lay of the land.

We’ve had moments of letting off some “steam”  ~~~ like one time when Jack started to scream because he was so frustrated.  Well, …we all just JOINED HIM.  “AUUUUUUU!!! “  He looked at us like we were nuts.  I think we were.

Kai and I had a breakfast date, (it had been a long time since she and I had had a Gigi-Kai day), at the Madonna Inn where everything is PINK PINK PINK.  I showed Kai where her Gigi used to go ballroom dancing with her Cal Poly friends, and of course she and I took a twirl or two.   And we drank hot chocolate with whipped cream and pink sugar sprinkles.  Kai said it was yummy and she whispered in my ear, “Gigi, you could totally get a job here.  They make hot chocolate as good as you.”  I laughed.

We’ve visited the library --- and Kai got her very first library card.  So EXCITING.

Abby and I shared lunch together ~~ sitting by the bay.  A glass of wine and fresh seafood. We talked about silly things like ...Chester getting a job with the barking seals.  And serious things like... relocating and starting over.

I am enjoying watching Jack grow taller, hearing him say new words, and figuring out how to jUmP!

I love getting to  know Derek more and more. A few days back I was telling him how I felt about someone  keeps moving our finish line!  He laughed, saying, "So, who's finishing? More to come!" Laughter and perspective, just 2 of the many things I love about my son-in-love.

I went to see Les Miserables by myself yesterday, and I cried.  Literally held onto my scarf like it was a warm blankie and sobbed.   After the movie, the entire theater broke into applause and then most of us just sat quietly, not moving.  Such a story of passion and redemption and love and forgiveness. 

…. And after the movie I parked under a street lamp along the bayside, and talked to a  long-distance dear friend on the phone for over an hour.  Processing the movie….and life.  A ranger passed by a couple of times, checking on me.  I sorta hoped he would stop so I could tell him how we’ve been traveling for 4 ½ months in 31 feet and how good it felt to have “girl time” and over an hour of uninterrupted adult conversation.   J

It won’t be long, and we will “land” & cross the “finish line”.

It has been such a grand journey --- and not one us wants to minimize how grand it has been.  It has been AHH-MAY-ZING. 

But ohmygoodness, we are totally smellin’ the barn and ready to get this baby landed, and feel the red tape across our chests.   ;-)

P.S. Abby just poked her head over my shoulder and said, “Are you gonna cry?…….. This is your last blog with ALLLLL of us in Maxine!”    Buahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,  (where is my scarf?)

 

I feel like a tree

Abby's thoughts.....

Here we are in central California, trying to settle into a new life.  Trying to make a new home.  Trying to FIND a home!  I don’t share this to complain, I just share it to be REAL.  This is where I am at today on this journey.  Some days of this journey are exciting and thrilling; other days are full of doubt; wondering where hope is and what bend it’s around.  

We are facing reality now.  Far from the place we used to call home, far from familiar, and I’m trying to remind myself that it’s all going to be okay.  We are still living in Maxine, and the Maxine grace-o-meter is getting low. Everyday we look on craiglist.com for rentals.  There are few to choose from and of the few, the rent is more than we paid for our mortgage!  It looks bleak.  And today I wonder again, did we make the right move?  YES, comes a soft whisper from heaven. And good reminder to hear when there are days you still wonder.  I suppose the storm looks bigger than it really is, and the rainbow after the storm is usually brighter than expected.  So I have to believe it will all be okay, but this is a road I must walk down.  A road I must travel today before I get to my destination. And i guess, it's not really a storm, it just feels like a big mountain right now.

Today I feel lost.  I feel like a tree uprooted.  A tree that was once strong and lush, developing roots in rich soil.  But now, this tree is vulnerable, raw, exposed.  I look right and left, north and south looking for the RIGHT place to plant.  I so desperately want to plant in healthy fertile soil, yet I realize, I’m only to be planted in a temporary pot for now.  This season of time here is about discovery.  Discovering new places, new landscape, new cultures, new life, new firsts. Nothing has to be permanent.  That’s why we are renting and not buying. Sounds exciting, right?  So why am I so concerned about the color of my new pot, or the location of my pot, for that matter? The hurdle for me is, it’s not like a job brought us here and picked where we are going to live for us.  We are the ones making the decision.  AND, it feels like a BIG decision.  Lots of decisions!  Where do we live? Go to school?  Get jobs? Church? Friends? Life?! Do we live in San Luis Obispo, a fun college town, or Paso Robles in the vineyards, or Pismo Beach on the coast?  All have great things about them, pros, cons, etc. I know it sounds silly, and you may wonder, why am I all worked up about it? But, I think.... what if I don’t like my new pot?  What if the tree isn’t planted in the RIGHT pot?  What if it’s not as good as my old solid ground? 

But really, when I step back to look at my life, has God ever NOT taken care of me?  Has He ever led me somewhere that didn’t have a purpose?  Has He ever NOT provided for me?  I meekly answer, no.  And really, the truth is, He’s always given me more than my expectations.  So why would He stop now?  Why would He take me on this journey, only to drop me off and leave me?  I know it’s all going to work out.  I know we will find a home.  I know that we will find happiness and a good life in this new land.  It’s just hard because it looks strange and I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like. I’m sure there’s a good pot to be planted in.  It doesn’t have to be perfect. And the cool thing is, I can move this pot anywhere until I know for certain what ground to plant it in permanently.  

So...those are my thought.  Just me being real.  This is my journey I am living right now. 

Thanks for listening.

The Christmas Journey Chapter

My last post was before Christmas, I had just finished making a manger scene with Kai ~~ and Kai told me that Mary had butterflies in her tummy because she was SO EXCITED to have a baby,  and Joseph was smiling and winking about this baby that was soon to be born.   And we had just hung eight stockings that Santa would soon fill. That is all Kai knows about Christmastime ~~ butterflies, smiles, joy-filled anticipation.  I would like to keep it that way forever.

This Christmas season we did NOT anticipate or expect a hospital stay with our son.  We did not anticipate illness or pain or tears or MRI’s or CT scans or EEG’s or EKG’s.  We didn’t.  We thought the Christmas-Journey-Chapter would be ALL butterflies and winks.

I wish for each of us…it was all butterflies and winks and smiles and sunshine.  Yet this Incredible Journey of Life can hold painful twists and turns that no one expects or anticipates, no matter the season.   And....I know we were not the only ones who had an unexpected and painful detour this Christmas season. I know ….because we have dear friends in the midst of a family crisis,  another facing serious health issues, another grieving the painful loss of a loved one,  another aching with monthly disappointment of unanswered prayers.   I know because there are families in Connecticut who ache with empty arms this Christmas. I know because while in the hospital with our son --- all the rooms were filled with other families, wishing they too were someplace else.  Instead of butterflies and winks and smiles,  many of us have felt,  labor, and pain and tears.

That is how life's journey on earth is sometimes.  And each one of has been  “there .”  We have.

But….

The story of CHRISTmas is… in the labor, in the tears, in the pain, in the darkness,  He comes.   God comes. To be with us.  To comfort us.  To heal us.  To BE with us.   And we are not alone.

And that is the Gift of Christmas.